


Commander Shepard: Fear Itself

by sorrowfulcheese



Series: Calibration Concatenation [6]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen, Scary Stories, Silly, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2572130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrowfulcheese/pseuds/sorrowfulcheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lesson learned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Commander Shepard: Fear Itself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wargoddess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wargoddess/gifts).



_You kids want a story?_  
  
 _I’ll tell you a **scary** story, if you promise you’ll sleep after. But you all better go pee before I start. Shepard wouldn’t want anyone to mess the bed, you know. She’s picky that way._  
  
 _All done? Good. Sit a little closer, then._  
  
 _This happened during the War—_  
  
 _What do you mean, ‘which war’? The War against the Reapers, dummy. The big one. Our War. The one Shepard won for us, single-handedly._  
  
 _I don’t care how **she** tells it to you. I was there, and I saw it. Without her, none of us would be here right now, I promise you that. Now shut up, and listen._  
  
 _It was during the War, like I said, and things were looking really grim. We were all doing our best to save people from the Reapers, and to support the teams building the Crucible at the same time. But everything seemed to weigh more heavily on Shepard’s shoulders. She took every death as a personal failure, even though not a single person blamed her for the Reapers’ actions. Well, maybe the Council, but those idiots had to be confronted by an actual Reaper invasion before they’d listen to her. But that’s another story altogether._  
  
 _So even though we were all worried about our families and friends and scared for our lives, we decided to put together a little party for Shepard, for her birthday. She was about to turn thirty-two, not exactly a milestone, but we didn’t know if it might be the last birthday she’d ever have. That any of us would ever have._ _That’s what war does to you, kids. It makes you realise that every day, every minute, every tiny little thing is as important as any other._  
  
 _Anyway, it was easy enough to put things together. We were all on long shifts and we didn’t get to see Shepard as often as we would have during peace time. She was always on away missions, or in briefings and debriefings with the Council or Admiral Hackett, or Admiral Anderson—who was holding the line back on Earth—and when she wasn’t doing that, she was trying to get some sleep. None of us got a lot of sleep back then._  
  
 _We planned the party and—uh, the Shadow Broker got us into Shepard’s apartment on the Citadel, and arranged for Shepard to come to the apartment at a certain time._  
  
 _Yes, Shepard is friends with the Shadow Broker._  
  
 _No, I’m not going to tell you who the Shadow Broker is. Yes, I **do** know. Do you want to hear this or not? Right._  
  
 _So we decorated the apartment a bit and we set up some drinks at the bar and we waited for Shepard to arrive. A few minutes before she was supposed to show up, we all hid behind the furniture, and when Shepard opened the door we jumped up and yelled ‘Surprise!’—_  
  
 _Because that’s what you do when you’re throwing a surprise party for someone you love. I was right out in front of course, because I wanted to see her face when she saw what we had done for her._  
  
 _And Shepard yelled and whipped out her gun and she shot me three times before she realised we weren’t enemies ambushing her. Kind of put a damper on the party._  
  
 _No, I'm not making that up. She shot me three times. Look, the scars are right here. One, two, three. Yes, you can touch them. That’s enough, you cynical little brats. They’re real all right._  
  
 _What do you mean that’s not a scary story? I’ll tell you why it’s scary. Because if you think you’re going to get away with that little prank of yours—yes, I saw you hiding it away—you need to know that Shepard loves me way more than she loves any of you, and she shot me for scaring her. So imagine what she’ll do to **you**._  
  
 _Sleep well, kids._

* * *

    Shepard waited for him in the hall, arms folded and a wry smile on her face. Garrus shut the bedroom door; behind it rose frantic whispers.  
  
    “You’re still mad about that,” Shepard said softly, with amusement.  
  
    “You shot me.”  
  
    “You _scared_ me.”  
  
    “You shot me _three times_ , Shepard.”  
  
    Shepard grinned. “The second and third ones were just to teach you a lesson about scaring me.”  
  
    “Lesson learned,” Garrus said drily. As Shepard turned away from the children's room, Garrus slid an arm around her waist. “Anyway, I think they’re too scared to leave the room now.”  
  
    “Fabulous,” Shepard said. “They’ll report that you’re terrifying them at night, and we’ll never get the adoptions processed.”  
  
    “Nah, they love it.” He gave her a squeeze as they walked slowly down the hall toward the master bedroom. “But now that we have the place more or less to ourselves, what do you want to do?”  
  
    “Mm. I just opened a bottle of wine. Want to help me polish that off while we watch a vid?”  
  
    “I can think of better things to do while drinking a bottle of wine.” He leaned down and nuzzled her hair.  
  
    “Subtle.”  
  
    “Subtle like three shots to the chest.”  
  
    Shepard snorted rude laughter, turned and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt by wargoddess. Not exactly what she ordered, but I hope it'll suffice! :D


End file.
